Thirty Days Of Dougie! (Day 3): Land Of Confusion, Stray Cats and Memories of Age 10…

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

And here we go again and it’s Day 3 of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Are you having fun yet? It’s way too early in the morning and I don’t have much time to play, not if I want to get this posted this morning before I have to head out to do people, places and things. I guess I’d better unpack my adjectives. (Obscure School House Rock reference!) Yesterday (Tuesday) was a long, long day. Did the Food Bank stuff that I do every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then went to my sister’s house. The transmission on her car died a month ago and now it’s time to get it into gear and look for something new. Time was limited so I rode with her to three different car lots to look and see what was available in her price range. Not much, it seems. We listened to a country boy from hell throw his sales pitch at us at one place and he was cool enough, but really was more B.S. than substance. He just wanted a quick sale. Not gonna happen. The second place was just rude. And the third place was pretty cool and the guy who we spoke to is the same man who sold my Mom her car almost eight years ago. This is a small town. Nothing really accomplished, but at least it was a start.

And then, since my sister hates shopping alone and gets anxiety attacks inside crowded places, I went with her to the stores. Wal-Mart and Roses. I despise Wal-Mart with a passion, but it’s a necessary evil and sometimes, you just have to do it. Finished up with her and my head was pounding, so I went home for a quick power nap. Quick just about describes it because as soon as I lay down upon my bed, there goes that damn phone. My BFF and hetero-sexual life mate calling. We speak for a brief moment and after agreeing that I’ll come pick him up in about an hour, I try to lay down and get a moment of rest. The birds are chirping, the dogs are barking, kids outside are screaming and I can hear Mom talking to someone or something several rooms away. The mood is broken and I’m back up. No power nap today.

I go to Wal-Mart again (second time) to get oil for my Blazer and some extra-strength pain relief because my head is about to bust. And then to get my bro and his mini-me. It’s here and there and everywhere for the next several hours, including a birthday party for a relative of his. None of this do I mind because I love my bro, I love his mini-me, and they are two of the most important people and things in my crazy little world and life. But it just goes on and on and on. We go to Wal-Mart AGAIN and for me, it’s the third time today. I make a note and remind them that I need to leave relatively soon enough that I can go by Food Lion and pick up drinks before they close. That didn’t happen and it was 10:00 before I left. I was tired and ill and a little snappy by this point. My legs were hurting and my head was pounding again. And I had to go by Wal-Mart AGAIN to get drinks for today because it was now the only place open. That’s FOUR times. Have I mentioned that I hate that place.

I came home and thought about this. I was planning to do a Smackdown Live! review, but since I didn’t get to watch Smackdown Live!, that idea is kind of moot. My bro texted me and asked what I thought about the ending of the show. Ummmm, I didn’t get to watch it because I was with you. Oh vey! My head is still pounding and I couldn’t sleep for shit. And I have to be in Southern Pines in two hours. So how is your day going?

And now, here I am, ready to do Day 3 of this mess. Why am I doing this anyhow? Oh yeah, to enhance my creativity, generate traffic on my blog site and because I can. Just shoot me now… please! Let’s just reach into the box and find three topics to get this over with. Yes, Mr. Ray of Sunshine I am this morning. Don’t you love it?

And we reach into the Magic Box and my three topics for today are… (drum roll please)… Land of Confusion, Stray Cats and Memories of Age 10…Let’s do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 3): Land Of Confusion, Stray Cats and Memories of Age 10…
February 22, 2017

Let’s start off with Land of Confusion. It’s the title of a song by Genesis that came out in the late 80’s. A great video with lots of puppets and it was pretty harsh with it’s mocking of then-President Ronald Reagan. And damn, those puppets were ugly. It was a great song though and I’ve always liked it, even to this day. There weren’t too many songs that Genesis and lead singer / drummer Phil Collins did that I didn’t much like to be honest. The man has talent. He’s ugly as hell, but so long as he can sing, who cares, right?

That term can also be used to describe my life at times. Why am I doing this? Who are these people? What day is it? Where’s my jello. My world! Welcome to it. Let’s move on.

Stray Cats! That can refer to a band from the 80’s who did such great tunes as “Stray Cat Strut” and “Rock This Town!”. Those boys, Brian Seltzer, Lee Rocker and Slim Jim Phantom, could really get down and go. They had a Sha Na Na type gimmick with a 50’s look and sound, but were definitely a product of the 80’s as well. And they still perform and rock today.

It could also refer to all of these damn cats that my Mom started feeding, which have quickly grown in number and now come to our house each and every morning, acting as if they own the place. “Where my damn food at?”, they seem to say. Oh vey! I love cats though and they’re pretty cool so no worries here. They do eat too much, but at least they’re getting fed so it’s all good. And the rent is too damn high.

And finally, memories of Age 10. It was 1976 and I remember the big thing that year was the bicentenial celebration of our nation’s 200th birthday. Jimmy Carter was the President of the United States and we had lines at the gas pumps sometimes. We ccelebrated my birthday staying at the beach for a week. My Mom was dating a really cool man named Stuart, who always called me “George” for some reason. My sisters were teenagers in their primes, my oldest brother was dating a woman several years older than he was (cougar) and rarely came around much. It was a good year and I was a typical, oblivious to the world, 10 year old kid. And really, what more needs to be said.

And that’s it for now. Yes, it’s short and lame, but I never promised you a rose garden. And I have to go check my car and do my stuff so I can get this trip up the road over with and be back here in Laurinburg by 10:30 so I can go do Food Lion. And then… a nap (because that’s what I do!) Thank you for reading and don’t worry, it will get better. I’m Doug and you’re not. See you tomorrow with Day 4.


Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 2): Party In A Box and Monday Night RAW Thoughts…

And I’m back. It’s Day 2 of the most eclectic and infamous blog series going, the never duplicated and thank God for that, “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. It’s actually Monday afternoon as I’m starting to write this. Monday’s are busy days for me and if I want to get this up and posted early Tuesday morning, which I do, then I figured it’s probably better to get a slight head start… So I am. So far, today has been pretty uneventful and routine, although if that changes any between now and when I actually post this, I’ll let you know. I woke up, did my volunteer stuff for the Food Bank, took a nap, chilled a little best with my BFF / heterosexual life mate, and now am getting ready to go to work at the house of Fine Spirits known as the Alphabet Store (think about it). Then it will be home later tonight to watch Monday Night RAW. And I just had a brainstorm. I do believe that one of the topics for tonight may be “Raw Thoughts!”. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. We’ll keep it simple and direct. RAW thoughts and one more thing, for the non-wrestling fans out there to enjoy. Are there even any non-wrestling fans out there? Really? If there are, I’m sure they won’t be reading MY blog. But just in case one or two accidentially stumble upon my blogsite, at, I need to do something for them too. I’m thoughtful like that.

My legs are so freakin’ sore. On Sunday afternoon, the “Jay” to my “Silent Bob” and his mini-me and I, decided to go walking around the local college, St. Andrews University. It’s a beautiful campus with lakes, ducks, bridges and some very attractive students of both genders. I used to party there with my friends and associates many years ago and have some fantastic memories of that place. But anyhow, we walked around from one end of the campus to the other for over three hours and it was incredible. But I forgot a couple of things. I’m old now. And fat. And my knees are bad. And now… it hurts. I’m paying the price for all of that walking, but it was such a great day, with two of my favorite people and I’d gladly do it again and again.

And the funny thing was that we kept seeing students and they would say hello to me and my bro was wondering and actually questioned why so many people seemed to know me there. Well, it’s the local college, most of the students are ages 20 – 25 years old and I work in the local liquor store. So why do all of these people seem to know me? Hmmmmmm? I swear though, if I was twenty-five years younger… damn, them are some sexy ass kids out there. All of that walking and all of that scenery, it brought back some great memories. A shout out to the Stoney Crew! Represent!!

And now, let’s see what the topics of the day will be. I’ve already decided on “Raw Thoughts” where I’ll give a brief rundown of WWE Monday Night RAW and discuss what I like, didn’t like, etc. And the other topic of the day will be… Where my Magic Box at? I’m reaching in and the other topic will be… drum roll please… “Party In A Box”. Oh yeah, this might be good. Are you ready? Let’s do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 2): Raw Thoughts and Party In A Box…
February 21, 2017

Let’s start off with the term, “Party In A Box”. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? I have absolutely no idea. It must have come from a song title or lyric or something and caught my attention just enough to be added to the Magic Box, but I don’t know when, why, where or how. Some reporter I would be, right? I’ll just run with it though and use it to make a list. I like lists. Everyone likes lists, right? Well, just play along and say yes. If I was going to throw a major party, what would I need. What would have to be inside that big box of party goodies to make it all work. Let’s figure it out with a Top Ten List. Yes, it’s only my second day doing this and I’m already stealing a routine from David Letterman. Oh vey!

Top Ten Things You’d Find In A Party Box…

10. Alcohol and Adult Beverages
9. Food
8. Ric Flair at the Bar, telling stories and buying drinks for everyone.
7. A Mosh Pit
6. A pool / beach / jacuzzi.
5. All my Rowdy Friends and about Forty strangers I’ve never met before in my life, but they seem cool.
4.A live DJ playing all the sounds, alternating with the live band
3. Strippers.
2. Midgets in cowboy hats.
1. The A.P.A. operating as my private security force.

And as the great Baron Von Raschke would say, “Dat is all de’ people need to know!”

And now, prepare to get loud and sweaty because it’s time for some getting RAW, WWE style. It’s WWE Raw Thoughts…

Before I talk about the three hour extravaganza that was WWE Monday Night RAW, coming live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, I want to quickly touch upon something that happened after RAW went off the air. Dwayne Johnson, better known to the millions (and millions) of wrestling fans worldwide as “The Rock” came to the ring. Rock and WWE films are making a movie called “Fighting With My Family”, which is based on the life of WWE Superstar Paige and they wanted to film some scenes for the movie in front of the live audience. The scene that they were filming was recreating when Paige defeated former WWE Superstar / Diva AJ Lee to capture the WWE Divas Championship. Well, AJ Lee is married to a man named CM Punk, another former WWE Superstar who walked out of and left WWE in 2014 and has been involved in all sorts of bad blood and legal back-and-forth hoopla with the company ever since. Well, the fans in the crowd started cheering and chanting for Punk and calling out his name. So what does The Rock do? He pulls out his cell phone and calls up Punk live while standing in the middle of the WWE ring. You know that WWE management had to be happy about that… NOT! But Rock calls up Punk and the millions (and millions) of fans go nuts. Okay, there was only slightly over 15,000 fans in that arena, but when Rock called up Punk on his phone and Punk got to hear those fans chant his name. Only The Rock and possibly Steve Austin could get away with doing that, but it was a great gesture and moment for wrestling and the fans in that arena. And for Punk too. I hope that this moment possibly helps ease some of the bad blood between WWE and Punk, reminding both parties that there are things bigger than their personal differences. The fans want to see Punk back in the WWE and in a WWE ring. That’s pretty obvious. Both WWE and Punk are leaving a lot of money on the table and could set all sorts of records if they’d just sit down, be adults and talk out their differences. Could you imagine the reactions if CM Punk and AJ Lee were to show up ringside at Wrestlemania XXXIII? This might just be a one-time event with Rock being the Rock and just doing that call because of an impromptu decision or it may be more. Most likely the first, but let’s hope for the best. Rock has made the first move in attempting to bridge the divide between Punk and the WWE. Let’s hope that either one or the other decides to pick things up from there and move things even more forward. One can only hope.

And now, let’s move on to WWE Monday Night RAW and my thoughts of the show as it progressed.

We start off with a graphic for WWE Hall of Famer George “The Animal” Steele, who passed away earlier this weekend. No sign of anything for Chavo Guerrero Sr., Nicole Bass or Ivan Koloff yet. It’s been a rough week for WWE legends. Hopefully this will be the last deaths for a while. We also see a video with highlights from the “Festival of Friendship” from last week where Kevin Owens introduced his best friend to the “List of KO”. That was easily one of the best segments on a RAW for a long, long time. And here is the man himself, Kevin Owens.

Owens is in the ring and talk about Goldberg and his upcoming match at WWE Fastlane. The “Prize Fighter” is back and he’s cold, methodical, confident and this is exactly how KO should be booked and used. Owens is a total legit bad-ass to the extreme and so damn good right now. As for his thoughts about Chris Jericho, Owens just dops the mic and walks away. Great segment.

Enzo and Cass fight Sheamus and Cesaro in a tag match to determine who will face Gallows and Anderson for the tag team titles at Fastlane. Nothing really new or noteworthy here. A good match and both teams looked strong, but in the end, it was Enzo and Cass winning the match and getting that victory. They’re the new #1 Contenders. Enzo talks junk after the match and Sheamus delivers a kick to the face in response. I like both teams, but bleh…

Mick Foley and Kevin Owens speak in the back and Mick tells Owens that he’s wrestling Sami Zayn. Owens doesn’t really care and comments to Foley that he thought Mick like Sami and soon, there will be more wrestlers on the injured list than in the locker room. A video package of Braun Strowman and he looks like a monster. Hard to believe that he used to be one of Adam Rose’s “Rose Buds”, isn’t it. Even his days as a member of the Wyatt Family are just a faded memory. The WWE has done a great job of repackaging this man and making him into a true monster.

More Foley time as he deal with Roman Reigns. We’re seeing Strowman versus Big Show tonight in the main event and Foley has to warn Roman to stay out of the match. Here are Gallows and Anderon, the tag team champs and they’ve got some unfinished business with Roman from last week. Foley tells Roman to find a partner, but Roman doesn’t want one. So Foley books a handicap match with the tag team champs versus Roman for later in the night.

A match with the Cruiserweights as The Brian Kendrick takes on Akira Tozawa. Not really a match so much as just some story-building shenanigans. Kendrick wants a handshake, but Akira refuses. Tantrum and attack by Kendrick on the man he offered to mentor and it’s time for the Captain’s Hook. Kendrick puts back on his jacket and walks out. Lesson one is about respect. Crowd was dead for this segment which is sad because I thought it was a good start to making a story with these two talented guys. Crowd has been crapping all over the Cruiserweights quite a bit as of late anyhow. Hopefully, that’ll change cause these boys are good.

Roman takes on the tag champs. I hate matches like these. Anderson and Gallows dominate at first, but he of the Superman punch manages to hold his own and the tag team champs decide to bring a chair into the ring. Roman gets the chair and uses it to his own advantage, getting DQ’ed in the process. Anderson and Gallows win by DQ and Roman looks strong while they look like wimps because they couldn’t beat one man. Unless they’re fighting Andre the Giant or the Big Show, two men should always be able to beat one man. WWE is bad about doing this. At least Roman had to use a chair to stay alive (this time) so it’s not as bad as it was last week, but two men should always win… always.

The New Day announce that they will be hosting Wrestlemania XXXII, which means that they probably won’t be wrestling. This act is getting so stale so quickly. They also talk about ice cream which has been a major topic of discussion in the WWE ever since the day CM Punk mentioned ice cream bars during one of his pipebomb moments with Vince. The New Day are NOT CM Punk. That’s for sure. Lana, Rusev and Jinder Mahal come out and we have a boring segment that leads to a boring match. The New Day win. Big surprise, right? I’m definitely not feeling this right now.

A video tribute to George “The Animal” Steele and it’s awesome. Still nothing for Ivan Koloff, Nicole Bass or Chavo Sr. It’s to the ring to Austin Aries and a contract signing between WWE Cruiserweight Champion Neville and challenger Jack Gallagher for Fastlane. Gallagher signs the contract and says that he earned this shot because of his talent. Neville comes out and signs the contract and is ready to leave, but Gallagher offers him some tea and crumpets. Neville lambasts Gallagher for being a joke and playing up to all of the stereotypes of what a Britisher is for the idiots in the audience. They’re laughing at him and not with him, Neville says to Gallagher. Jack says he is a gentleman and then we have the mandatory brawl. Gallagher gets the best of Neville who flees the ring in frustration. Entertaining bit of action between two good characters. Gallagher reminds me of a mini-me version of a more polite (gentleman) version of Lord Steven Regal from the WCW days. What stereotype? I don’t see it… lol.

Nia Jax kills a jobber girl. I could care less because the Nia Jax character, who sounds remarkably like Chyna did, does absolutely nothing for me. She’s boring and somewhat clumsy in that ring. Awesome Kong, aka Kharma, would kick her ass!

And here comes Bayley on her way to the ring. She’s hugging. Bayley comes out to talk to the fans and celebrate her victory from last week to become the RAW Women’s Champion. Blah! Blah! Blah! Here comes Stephanie McMahon and she goes into bitch-mode, telling Bayley that she didn’t “earn” the Women’s Championship and her victory was tainted and she should give up the title. More Blah! Sasha comes out and sticks up for Bayley, who looks ready to hand that title over to Stephanie. Steph stirs the pot as to what Sasha’s motives might be. Bayley grows a pair and she’s keeping her title. Charlotte comes out and I am so damn bored and barely paying attention at this point. It’s Bayley versus Charlotte for the belt at the pay-per-view and it’s Charlotte versus Sasha right now. Too much talking and this went on way too long. It’s just like the adults in the old Peanuts / Charlie Brown cartoons. “Wa wa wa wa wa!”. A decent match with Charlotte and Sasha. Dana Brooke comes out and tries to get involved, but Bayley cuts her off. Sasha wins with the Bank Statement.

Diamond Dallas Page is going into the WWE Hall of Fame. Yay!

An interview with Sami Zayn and I’m starting to zone out badly. He warned everyone about Kevin Owens five months ago. He calls Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe selfish people who will do almost anything and talks about kicking Owens’ teeth out. And then it’s to the ring for a match as Zayn takes on the Universal Champion, Kevin Owens. Owens is waiting in the ring as Zayn comes down. Here is the ambush and attack by Samoa Joe and he beats the holy hell out of Zayn. I just woke back up. Zayn insists that he can still wrestle Owens and it’s short and sweet as Owens dominates the match and quickly puts an end to Sami Zayn. Owens was the perfect heel here. I’m really liking this.

We see a graphic air in memory of Ivan Koloff. A graphic? That’s it? Still better than nothing. Rest In Peace, Uncle Ivan…

Stephanie and Mick Foley have a backstage moment and Steph questions where Mick was earlier when she was confronting Bayley. Mick finally grows a set and gets in Steph’s face before walking off. So long, Mr. Foley. It’s been nice knowing you.

We have a backstage interview as Michael Cole talks to Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Paul talks great, Brock looks like a pissed off monster and Cole doesn’t stick around long. Heyman talks about Kevin Owens and Goldberg and what might possibly happen at Fastlane when they compete for Owens’ Universal Championship. And then it’s about what might happen if Goldberg manages to walk into Wrestlemania as the champion. Just another thing for his client to conquer.

And now to the ring for the main event as Big Show fights Braun Strowman. These guys put on one helluva match. It was back and forth, believable, and some damn good work by both men. Big Show looked like King Kong and Strowman played the role of Godzilla perfectly. Monster versus Monster and stayed entertaining and exciting from bell to bell. Strowman won, as he should, but Big Show looked great too and wasn’t hurt by the loss at all. Great main event for the night.

And finally, here comes Roman Reigns to the ring. He wants Braun Strowman. He gets him, but it takes several of the vintage “Superman punches” to put Strowman down and he doesn’t stay down long. Running slam by Braun and Roman is left laid out in the ring. Now that is how to book a monster.

And that’s RAW for the night. A good show that dragged in parts with too much talky-talky. I’m looking at the Bayley / Steph segment mainly, but there were a few moments there. And a few great moments with Owens’ promo at the start, the Heyman / Brock spot and that main event. Big Show versus Braun Strowman and it blew the roof off the place. Just wow!

And with that, I’m closing up this bad mama-jama. It’s nearly 5:30 in the AM and I want / need sleep. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back tomorrow with Part 3 of the all new, all not-so-different “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. I need a cup of orange juice. I love ya – mean it! Catch you tomorrow.


Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 1): Tarzan, Fast Food Jobs & Walking After Midnight…

Good morning and how the heck are you? Just when you thought it was safe to get back on the internet, here it comes again. Wasn’t that a song by Dolly Parton back in the late 70’s? No, that was “Here You Come Again”, and Dolly was awesome singing that song. But then again, Dolly was (and is) pretty much awesome with almost every song she sings. Or in every movie she acts in, for that matter. I just watched the movie “Best Little Whorehouse In Texas” yesterday, a movie where Dolly both sang and acted, and it remains one of my all time favorites.

And what does all of that Dolly talk have to do with this? Not a damn thing, but she was on my mind. This is the return of the most non-anticipated, never duplicated or imitated, eclectic mess that claims to be a blog series ever, because absolutely no one demanded it, it’s the return of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Are you excited yet? What I’m going to do for the next thirty days is write about this, that and everything else. Nothing is off limits and no topic is too taboo. I might write about wrestling or politics or music or squirrels or whackadoodle kids or anything else. And here’s where it gets fun. Even I won’t know what the topics of discussion will be until moments before I start writing. I have, you see, this thing I call the “Magic Box”. And it’s full of topics and ideas and every single day, as I prepare to do this writing thing that I do, I’ll reach into the box and pull out three topics. And that’s what I’ll write about for that day. And I’m going to do this for thirty days straight. “Why?”, you ask. Because it needs to be done and I can. What more reason does a man need?

And now, before I get started with the actual blog, let me wish each and every one of you a very Happy President’s Day. And I also want to wish the best to OUR President, Donald J. Trump. And for those of you that are out there saying, “he ain’t my President”, guess what? If you are a citizen of the United States, Donald Trump is YOUR President. Not Hillary. Not Bernie. It’s “the Donald!”. Congratulations! And you’re welcome. Now let’s go get the Magic Box and find out what the topics of discussion will be in this premiere edition of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Are you ready? I’ve actually got goosebumps doing this. The topics for today are: Tarzan, Fast Food Jobs and Walking After Midnight. Let’s do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie! – Day 1: Tarzan, Fast Food Jobs and Walking After Midnight…
February 20, 2017

How in the heck did I get Tarzan as my first topic? Let’s quickly go over what I know about the “King of the Jungle”. Parents died as a baby and he was raised by apes. Lord John Greystroke, if I call correctly. Lots of movies from the 50’s with Ron Ely and Johnny Weissmuller as the two main actors portraying the character, but many others have as well. Character was created in 1912 by a writer named Edgar Rice Burroughs. Lots of books and movies and even a TV show for a while. A girlfriend named Jane, a money named Cheetah and a boy named “Boy”. I saw the movie, “The Legend of Tarzan” that came out last year and I thought it was really good. Tarzan has also been featured in cartoons, comics and all sorts of novels and stories. And I believe that there was even a live stage production, but don’t quote me on that. One of the most recognizable and iconic fictional characters in American history.

And that’s the somewhat cliffnoted version of a history lesson. What more needs to be said. Tarzan is a great character and kicks butt. Personally, I prefer a slightly more comedic version of Tarzan, a character named “George of the Jungle”, but anytime a well built, muscular man beast wants to run around in nothing but a loin cloth, I’ll always be a fan.

Yeah, that was lame as hell. They can’t all be winners, my friend. Let’s move on to topic 2 and that is “Fast Food Jobs!”

I have an incredible amount of respect for people who can work in the fast food industry. It’s a thankless job that no one wants to do and no one appreciates and I’ll be honest here, I sure as hell couldn’t or wouldn’t do it. I’ve worked in customer service for over thirty-five glorious years, working mostly convenient stores and it’s not an easy thing to do. But as bad as the things are that I’ve had to deal with over the years, I think the people who work at places like Burger King and McDonald’s have it far worse. I tried to work at Burger King once and I lasted a total of four hours. Yes, I said four hours. The chaotic mess that was that job just overwhelmed me almost immediately and after those first couple of hours, I just went to the bathroom and then kept on walking. Give me a c-store and my cash register and I can take control and kick ass. Throw an order for two whoppers and small fries at me and I panic and freeze up. Of course, I was sixteen years old at the time and had already been working in a store for two years so that may have had something to do with it. I don’t mind working with food. I cooked fish at a local seafood restaurant for over two years and worked as the Deli Manager for Dairy Mart for several years, but that was a whole different kind of animal. The people who are career fast food folks and actually enjoy it and thrive, they’re the toughest and most resiliant people I know.

Of course, there are a lot of total slack-ass folks in the fast food industry too. It seems as it there are two extremes, the hard working, friendly, determined to make the best of it folks and then there’s the total pinhead ass-clowns that are spiteful, rude, bad customer service and need to be smacked in the face with a steel chair. Yes, I am talking about the local McDonald’s and the crowd that works on the third shift here in Laurinburg. Two McChicken sandwhiches and a Quarter Pounder with cheese. That’s it. Go through the drive-thru on the third shift and it takes almost twenty minutes. Really? Really? And the sandwhiches are cold when you finally get them. Well, the McChicken’s were. The Quarter Pounder was only half-way wrapped and the meat patty was burnt. Yes, this really happened. If I hadn’t been so hungry with the late night munchies, I would have taken it back. Then again, if I hadn’t been so hungry with the late night munchies, I would never have gone to McDonald’s at 1:45am to begin with. I did contact the main office and complain, but the best complaint is that I’ll never go back there again at night. The daytime crew is great there, but that crew on the late shift? Oh vey!

So, bottom line here is this. Most fast food workers are working a thankless job for little money and no respect and deserve better. For those fine folks, I give many kudos because I sure as hell wouldn’t do it. And for those that don’t like the job and need the attitude adjustments and take their frustrations out on the customers, even though they may deserve it, you can’t and shouldn’t do that. Guess what? They go on “the list!”. Yes, I’m still stealing Jericho’s gimmick. What can I say? It works for me.

And I’m tired of this topic so let’s move on to Number 3 and “Walking After Midnight!”

First off, that’s the title of a fantastic song by Patsy Cline. It’s almost sixty years old and still way better than 99.885% of the crap we hear on the radio today. And secondly, it’s one of my favorite things to do. There are few things more peaceful than going out on a cold, cool night and just walking around the block a few times. No traffic and no neighbors. Just the light of the moon, the sound of crickets or the occasional dog, and just the awesomeness of it all. It’s a great way and time to clear the head and just appreciate the magic and beauty of the night. Of course, now it’s not really safe because of the crazies out there, but I still love to do it and just stick to familiar territory. Nothing beats the magic of the night. It’ll clear the head and set you free. And that’s a good thing. Yes, it is!

And with that, I’m out of here. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this. Only twenty-nine more to go. And I know that the topics weren’t all that and I kind of side-stepped and cheesed out a bit with some of them, but every column can’t be a home run every time, right? Again, thanks for reading and as the breat Baron Von Raschke would say, “dat’ is all de people need to know!”. I’m Doug and I’m down and I’m gone. See you tomorrow.


Wrestling Fact or Fiction: February 19, 2017

I’m awake and feeling pretty good. It’s a beautiful day here in sunny Laurinburg, NC and there is a cat sitting outside my living room window, watching me as I type this sentence. I’ve already put food out for the damn thing so it needs to go away. It’s giving me the creeps.

Are you ready for some wrestling stuff? Let’s make this short and sweet, like my ex-boyfriend Danny. He was both… in more ways than one. Oops, did I say that? My bad! What’s taking place here is Wrestling Fact or Fiction. A statement is made and I either agree or I don’t. It’s just that simple. The first six statements came from my close, long time personal friends at The other four came from the inner workings of my mind. And enough of the chit chat. Let’s do this…

Tossing Salt presents: Wrestling Fact or Fiction
Sunday, February 19, 2017

Bayley winning the Raw Women’s Championship on RAW was the wrong call.

FACT: Nothing against Bayley. I like her and think she’s a talented performer, but after only two matches against Charlotte, one of which she was pinned cleanly, there just isn’t any kind of momentum or reason for her to be the champ. We all know that when the pay-per-view comes, Charlotte will regain the belt and Bayley’s role, for now, is just being a transitional champion. I’m expecting we’ll see a triple- threat of Charlotte versus Bayley versus Sasha at Wrestlemania and that is fine and good. And I guess giving the huggy one a brief run with the belt makes sense in that context, but I still don’t see it as the right move or call.

The Elimination Chamber pay-per-view was a disappointment.

FICTION: Nothing but good, solid matches and not one, but two title changes with Naomi winning the Women’s Championship and Bray Wyatt finally grabbing that brass ring and winning the Elimination Chamber match, pinning not only John Cena, but AJ Styles as well. Top of the line from start to finish and I enjoyed it all. A damn good show.

Kevin Owens’ turn on Chris Jericho was one of the best angles on Raw in a long time.

FACT: We knew it was coming, but we didn’t know exactly when or how. Jericho is simply put, one of the best and he was so over the top on Monday night during the “Festival of Friendship!”. No one else could pull it off like he did. And it was so perfect, with the hug from Owens to his “best friend”, followed by the gift of the “List of KO” and the attack. Owens is a hard man not to cheer for, but after Monday night and the turn on Jericho, it was old school heel at it’s very best and you’re not going to find anyone who doesn’t want to boo him now. A great angle done extremely well by two of the very best in the business today. Now Jericho can be the face, which is awesome and KO can be the heel he plays so damn well. I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes next.

Naomi winning the Smackdown Women’s Championship at Elimination Chamber was the right call.

FACT: I almost said fiction because having a champion who’s finishing move is a butt to the face just doesn’t work well for me, but aside from that, Naomi is a good and talented wrestler. She’s got charisma and energy and after the way that Alexa insulted and demoralized her leading up to the match, if she hadn’t won the title, she would have been pretty much buried and through. It was a pleasant surprise and change that no one saw coming. Will she last long as the Smackdown Women’s Champion? Who knows? But it looks good on the resume and was good for what it was.

WWE booking Bobby Roode versus Kassius Ohno for an NXT title match at the February 22nd TV tapings is happening too soon.

FICTION: It may be soon, but the NXT fans know who Kassius Ohno, aka Chris Hero, is and NXT is currently lacking in major names and top contenders for the champion, Bobby Roode, to face. Honestly, I’d like to see WWE move some of the WWE main roster talents who are not being used much or very well, such as Jack Swagger, Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel, etc, to the NXT roster to help work with the younger talents as well as give the NXT cards some “star power” and “names”. Maybe that will happen or maybe not. Who knows? But Ohno is an extremely talented wrestler and I’m sure that his matches against the “Glorious One” will be off the charts. Too soon? Maybe, but it’s going to be good so let’s do it anyhow.

You will likely never watch WWE’s “The Marine 5: Battleground”.

FACT: Since the cast includes Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel and Heath Slater, as well as The Miz, I will probably watch it if it ever comes up on Netflix or the WWE Network. But since so few of the WWE’s movies ever show up on either of those outlets, the chances are slim to none. It’s probably pretty good, but I won’t go out of my way to track it down. Sad, but true.

Ivan Koloff will be inducted into the 2017 WWE Hall of Fame.

FICTION: Ivan should have been inducted many, many years ago. He’s a former WWWF World Champion and the man who pinned Bruno in Madison Square Garden, ending a reign that lasted over 7 years. But he was also part of the infamous concussion lawsuit still currently pending against the WWE and that’s going to stall and hold things up. I think he will be inducted and maybe even as early as next year, but he just passed away yesterday and it’s just too raw and too soon. We’ll see a nice video package on Monday night, both for him and George “The Animal” Steele, who passed away on Friday, and then that will be the end of it until they start picking names for next year. Should he be there? Yes! Will he be there eventually? Yes! Will it be this year? No. And that’s a shame, but that’s just how things are.

Goldberg should win the WWE Universal Championship from Kevin Owens at Fastlane.

FICTION: Goldberg is facing Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Brock versus Goldberg is a main event match in itself and doesn’t need any kind of title or stipulation to sell it to the masses. Who Brock is and who Goldberg is has all the selling points that WWE needs. Owens has been a good pick for the WWE to lead the RAW brand and that shouldn’t change. His match against Jericho doesn’t need to be a title match, but it adds to the match if what Kevin holds most dear to his heart, that Universal title, is up for grabs. Kevin has busted his ass, time and time again for the WWE since coming up to the main roster from NXT and deserves to keep his spot at the top of the roster. Goldberg is a part-timer who doesn’t need or deserve the championship honors. Look for Y2J interference or maybe even some Brock in the house, but whatever it takes, it’s should be Owens retaining that big red belt.

Bray Wyatt becoming the WWE Champion at Elimination Chamber was the right call.

FACT: Can you name anyone on the roster who deserves it more? Maybe Miz, but that’s just about it. I picked AJ Styles to regain the title in my predictions for the Elimination Chamber, but what a pleasant surprise it was to see the “Eater of Worlds” come out on top. And he pinned not only Cena, but AJ as well on his path to victory. Well deserved and long overdue and I’m sure that Grandpa Blackjack Mulligan is looking down from wrestling heaven with a big smile on his face. A great call by Vince, HHH and the WWE.

Daniel Bryan will come out of retirement and face the Miz at Wrestlemania.

FACT: This has to happen and where else can the tension and issues between Miz and Smackdown GM Daniel Bryan go? Daniel Bryan never really got a chance to wrestle that “last match” and say goodbye properly to his fans. Miz has been on Bryan’s case and mocking him for the past six months. Miz is well regarded as one of the best and safest workers in the WWE today and if Bryan can pass all the medical tests, I don’t see why WWE wouldn’t be willing to take the chance. It’s the ultimate “feel good” moment for the fans, being a part of Bryan’s last match. Bryan is so over, even if he can’t wrestle, it has to be done. If WWE was willing to book Bret Hart into a match against Vince a few years ago, given Bret’s medical history, they have no excuse not to do this. I want to see it. I know the fans want to see it. And Miz and Bryan, no doubt want to do it. Make it happen Vince. PLEASE!

And there you go. A little one man “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”. And I guess that’s it for me for today. I’ll be back tomorrow for Day 1 of “Thirty Days of Dougie!” on my blog, located at It’ll also be available for your reading pleasure on my Facebook page ( and at my Twitter (@doug28352). Thank you for reading. Have a great day and I’ll catch you on the flip side.


It’s Back: Thirty Days Of Dougie!

As the late, great Blackjack Mulligan would say, “Go get Mama from the kitchen. Go get Granny from the rocking chair and get gather up all the kids cause I’m only going to say this one time and it’s something everyone needs to hear.” I have something to say. And… are you ready? I said… ARE YOU READY? Just like that rash that popped up after the night in Tijuana, Mexico or that psycho ex-girlfriend who you thought had finally realized that you’re not together anymore, it’s back. And the world will never, ever be the same again.

And what exactly is the “it” that I’m talking about? I haven’t done this since 2013, but it’s time for a brand spanking new (and who doesn’t like a good spanking?) edition of the infamous blog series, “Thirty Days Of Dougie!”. And now, for all of you newbies or those who may have forgotten, I’ll explain just exactly what “Thirty Days of Dougie!” is all about.

I like to write. I think that’s pretty obvious to anyone who knows me even the slightest bit. But as of late, I’ve gotten a big slack. Ok, I’ve gotten majorly sorry as hell when it comes to writing. I used to write wresting columns, parodies, short stories, political commentary, etc all of the time. My blogsite,, is full of things going back many, many years. But even the best of intentions and ideas sometimes don’t quite make it and that has happened far too often recently. I’ve gotten lazy and unfocused and my attention span is now like that of our current President. And yes, he IS our President, like it or not. Mine and yours too. If you’re a citizen of the United States, he is YOUR President so suck it up, sit back and enjoy the ride. He wasn’t my first choice or even my 10th or 12th choice, but he’s still better than Hillary. Of course, so is a bag of dog feces covered in maggots. Oops! Forgive the political commentary. I do that sometimes. Now what was I saying?

Oh yeah, I was explaining just exactly what the whole “Thirty Days” deal is all about. For the next thirty days, I will write every single day. I will post something every single day. I will be great again. Okay, maybe not great, but I’m going to give it my best damn effort. “But what if your mind is a blank?”, you ask. “What will you write about then?” Well, my mind is quite often a blank. After over thirty-five glorious years of working with the public and providing customer service to the masses, any sanity or mental stability I ever had vanished years ago. People suck! But I’ve got it covered. On my desk, I have a box. It was originally a container that held a bottle of 18-year old Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whiskey, which is some nasty stuff by the way. Scotch is an acquired taste, but it’s one that I’ve never acquired. Give me some Jack Daniels or some Fireball anytime. But the container is cool and since my current occupation is working in a liquor store, I have access to many of these containers. And so I have one on my desk. And from here on in, it shall be known as the infamous “Magic Box” because what it contains are stimulants to the mind and creative process that can only be described as magical. Inside the “Magic Box” are small scraps of paper. And on each piece of paper is a word or a series of words. There are well over 600 little scraps of paper in this box. And when I can’t decide what to write about, I’ll reach into the box, draw out two or three of these little prompts, and that’s the agenda / topic for the day.

Damn, I’m getting long winded here and taking far too long, with too many words, to say what’s going on. Let’s simplify this. I’m gonna pick topics from the box, lots of random stuff, and write about it for the next thirty days. And there you go….

So, long story short, check your timeline for the next month because each and every day, there will be some Dougie magic taking place. It might be interesting and exciting and fun to read. It might suck big time. It might be about the world’s greatest sport, pro wrestling. It might be a stupid little survey from the MySpace days. It might be a rant about boogers or birds or mailboxes. I have no idea what the topics will be until I draw them from the box and start writing each day and that’s the fun part of it. It’s a writing exercise for me and a journey we’ll take together. So buckle up, my little snowflakes because it starts bright and early tomorrow (Monday) and it’s going to be one helluva ride.

And I guess that’s it for today. Thank you for reading all of this and I’m looking forward to writing for you and hopefully entertaining you for the next month. It’s back. Don’t call it a comeback. It’s just “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Have a great day… if you can.


Survey: A Bit About Me…

Yes, it’s a Facebook survey. Β Yes, I am slacking. Β But I’ll be back in the game soon. Β Believe that! As for this, let’s do it…

A bit about me…
✍ Tattoos…………………. Only 3, but wanting one or two more…
😷 Surgeries………………… Many over the years…
πŸ₯ Broken Bones……. wrist, ankle, ribs…. yes
πŸ”« Shot a gun……………… I have… and I did pretty well with it too…
πŸ’Ό Quit a job…………………Yep – sometimes by choice and other times, not quite..
πŸ›« Flown on a plane……..Nope
😨 Gone zip lining…………..Hell no…
😯 Watched someone dying…. Unfortunately yes… twice
πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ Been to Canada……………. Nope
πŸš‘ Ridden in an ambulance…. Yeah..
πŸ—Ό Been to Europe……………..nope
🌎 Stamps in Passport(s) ……. An entry stamp for Japan, but didn’t get to go…
πŸ› Been to Washington D.C…. Yes and have a few stories to tell.. RIP Alex and Wakana..
β›± Visited Florida……………… Daytona for Spring break..
πŸ—» Visited Colorado…… Nah!
πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ Been to Mexico……… No, but I went to a club with several hot Mexican guys who didn’t speak much english one time…
πŸ• Had a pet(s)………………. They’re not pets – they’re fuzzy family members..
β›· Been downhill skiing…..nope
🎢 Ability to read music …. Nope
🏍 Rode a motorcycle…………. As a passenger.. yes..
πŸ‡ Rode a horse……………….. Yes until I ran out of quarters and had to get off..
πŸ₯Stayed in a hospital………yeppers
πŸ’‰Donated blood…………… Yes
🚘Driven a stick shift……… Insert gay joke here… (yes)
πŸš“ Ride in Police car…………. Yes, but I was framed… I swear it!
πŸ˜‡ Grandkids………………. Nope…
🚀 Driven a Boat ……………. I paddled a canoe – does that count?
🐌Eaten Escargot ……….. Hell no…
πŸ‘½Seen a UFO…………. I’ve seen many things I can’t identify flying in the sky so yes…
🚒Been on a cruise ………. Nope – not yet..
β›½Run out of Gas…………Many times…
🍣Eat Sushi…………… I tried, but that stuff just didn’t look right to me…
πŸ‘»Seen a Ghost…………… I think so… yes.

Hold your finger down and select copy… Then go into status and paste. Change the answers and post to your wall.

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“Tossing Salt”2017 WWE Elimination Chamber Predictions and Thoughts

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Thoughts and Predictions
February 11, 2017
Doug Maynard

Coming up on Sunday night, exclusively on the WWE Network, or so they say, is the WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 pay-per-view. Seven matches, thus far, have been announced. And you know what that means, right? It means that you just made the list! Oops! My bad! That’s something else entirely that I need to save for when I do the RAW pay-per-view prediction columns. In this particular case, it means I put on my Gary Spivey wig, my Sister Cleo robes and channel my inner Jeanne Dixon as I attempt to impersonate THe Amazing Criswell. (How many of those references did you get?) Break out the crystal ball because it’s prediction time. Let’s do this…

Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship…
John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Bray Wyatt

I do not want to, nor do I expect to see John Cena go into Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion. He’s the “golden boy” of WWE so there is always that possibility, but I don’t want to see it so let’s eliminate Cena right off the bat. Ambrose had his shot as the WWE Champion and let’s be honest about it. He sucked! I don’t see WWE repeating that mistake, especially this close to their biggest event of the year so he’s eliminated. Miz, I think, will be having other plans at the big show with a certain retired General Manager who is way too positive (YES! YES! YES!) so that should eliminate him from the victory. I keep hearing that Bray Wyatt is the favorite and while I’d love to see him defending that title at Wrestlemania, I think that dealing with lost souls and family issues will take priority for the Eater of Worlds. So that leaves Baron Corbin and AJ Styles. Baron is good and would make a good opponent for Undertaker or Kane or many others on the roster, but I don’t see him as WWE Champion just yet. That leaves AJ Styles as the victor and the man going to Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion. And you know what? That suits me just fine…

Winner and NEW WWE Champion: AJ Styles

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

Natayla should win this and be a part of the top of the Women’s division, wrestling against Mickie James, Becky Lynch, etc and for the championship. She deserves it and would make a great Smackdown Women’s Champion. Nikki is… well, she’s tough and better than most give her credit for, but let’s be serious. She’s no Charlotte or Mickie or Sasha or Natayla. She tries and works hard, but the twin thing and the reality TV thing and her relationship with John Cena keeps her at the top far more than her wrestling ability or promo skills ever will. From what I’ve heard, she’s having a few medical issues and may end up being forced to retire sometime down the road, maybe even after Wrestlemania is finished. I wish her the best always, but this match should belong to Natayla. And I’m calling it for her right now.

Winner: Natayla

Tag Team Turmoil Match – WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship…
American Alpha (Chad Gable and Jason Jordan) (c) vs. Heath Slater and Rhyno (Heath Slater and Rhyno) vs. Breezango (Fandango and Tyler Breeze) vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) vs. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch)

It seems to me that ever since American Alpha won the titles, the Smackdown tag team division seems to be the forgotten red headed stepchild of the WWE. The teams and talents are definitely here and with all of these names in play, Smackdown Live could really be on fire each and every Tuesday night with some great tag team matches. WWE is dropping the ball big time. The Ascension got a big win for their team in the twelve man match on this past Tuesday night and could be considered the dark horse team to win it all. If they’re booked in WWE like they were in NXT, they could really be over and be huge. But I don’t think it’s going to happen. The Vaudevillains are amazing too, but it seems as if they’ve got too much heat backstage to do anything or get any kind of push. Slater and Rhyno are possible favorites and no one can count out the Usos. American Alpha is great, but I think the tag team scene needs another major shake-up to make things interesting again. Usos versus American Alpha at Wrestlemania would be awesome, but I’m going for a shocker and a major upset. Aiden English and Simon Gotch, the Vaudevillains, steal the win at the end and capture the gold.

Winners and NEW WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions: Simon Gotch & Aiden English – The Vaudevillains

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship Match…
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Naomi

While Naomi is athletic and talented in that ring and has come a long way since her days as a Funkasaurus, I just can’t see her at this point as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. If she would happen to win the title, it would be one of those short reigns that lasts only until the next TV taping. I expect that she’ll give Alexa a good match and it will be entertaining and all that, but when that final bell sounds, the Harley Quinn fashion rip-off will maintain her hold on to that title belt. She’ll take a beating and Naomi will prove she’s not one to overlook or take for granted, but Alexa retains the title.

Winner and STILL WWE Smackdown Women’s Champion: Alexa Bliss

Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

Becky is the favorite, but Mickie just came back and has a point to make. And damn, she’s hotter than ever. And I’m gay and still saying that. This should be another really good match and Becky will dominate most of it and get her moves in, but at the end of the night, Mickie will be the one taking that trip to the pay window.

Winner: Mickie James

Two On One Handicap Match
Apollo Crews and Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

This match, I don’t really get. I know that Dolph said that he could beat both men at the same time, but it’s two faces taking on a heel. If Dolph wins, he’s a bad-ass and makes the faces look like wimps, but he’s a heel. He’s not supposed to be able to do that and it only hurts Crews and Kalisto, a man who was fighting Baron Corbin only a couple of months ago. And if Crews and Kalisto win, so what? It’s two on one so they’re supposed to win. This match doesn’t really help anyone and wasn’t really thought out well in my opinion. This will probably end up on the Kickoff show and just as well because no one really cares about any of these guys right now. Dolph wins.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Luke Harper vs. Randy Orton

This is the last Smackdown pay-per-view before Wrestlemania and since Randy is the winner of the Royal Rumble and will be facing the WWE Champion, whoever it may be (AJ Styles) at Wrestlemania, there is no way he’s taking a loss here, right? Well, one wouldn’t think so anyhow, but just imagine if Luke Harper beats him here, but then Randy goes on to win at Wrestlemania and capture the WWE title. Harper is immediately the number one contender and ready to step up and challenge The Viper. Bray Wyatt will be there too and his presence has to be taken into consideration. I think there’s a slight chance of an Erick Rowan return, but that most likely will wait until either at or after Wrestlemania. A loss won’t hurt Randy and Harper is ready to move to the next level and a feud with his mentor, Bray, will do just that. So look for Luke to capture a win and then Bray to lay him out afterwards because… why not?

Winner: Luke Harper

Curt Hawkins vs. Mojo Rawley

Ever since his return to the WWE a few months ago, Curt Hawkins has been wasted and just an afterthought to the highest degree. Mojo is the new beastly flavor of the month and the man has charisma and that special mojo-magic. What I’d love to see happen is have Hawkins approach Mojo and offer himself as Mojo’s new tag team partner since Mojo’s current partner, Zack Ryder is out of action with an injury. Hawkins could play up on the history he and Ryder have together as the “Edgeheads” and try to convince Mojo that he’s the solution to the problem that Mojo may not even realize he has. They could team and then, when Zack comes back, we could see a rivalry between the former “Major Brothers” with poor Mojo caught in the middle. But that’s just an idea for the future to keep both Hawkins and Mojo in a program until Zack comes back. As for this match, Mojo wins. No questions asked or excuses made. It’s Mojo time!

Winner: Mojo Rawley

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Thoughts and comments welcome.